The next baby Killian!

Here he is!  (No, I don't know if it's a he yet, but he is universal in my book and seems so much better than "it")  I am about 11 weeks along already and my belly has really grown this past week-no weight gain (actually a 2 lb loss), but still my clothes are feeling really, really tight.  It might be time to bust out the 4 month maternity pants already :) 

I went in last Thursday for a routine follow-up to discuss the results of my blood work. After we were done discussing that I still did not have HIV or any STDs, Dr. Jones wanted to see if he could hear a heartbeat.  It was still a little early because he couldn't find a heartbeat or even my pulse so he decided to do an ultrasound.  Well-let's just say this is where it got scary.  I was looking at the screen and saw exactly what he saw-which was a whole lot of NOTHING.  He looked very concerned and gave me three options:

1) He is wrong and is using the machine wrong, which has only happened once in 25 years (he pulls random statistics out of his behind, which cracks me up).
2) I wasn't as far along as I thought I was, which was more than likely not the case since I had been keeping up with my cycles.
3) The pregnancy didn't take and I was going to have to decide how to proceed without James present.

He asked if there was anyone who could be with me because he was SURE that I had lost the baby.  They sat me in a room so I could regroup, which I used to pray.  It was weird because after I finished praying, there was this overwhelming calm as if God said "child, you'll be okay."  Connor was with me and started looking at pictures of babies on the wall and kept saying "baby" over and over and I just knew the Dr was wrong.  Dr. Jones worked with the sonogram technician to get me in immediately  who ended up doing a vaginal sonogram.  What I saw on the screen was just an answer to prayers.  A baby so alive, he was kicking and punching his knubby arms and legs as if to say "I'm here!" 

Creating life is one of life's precious miracles and I not wish to take it for granted.  Please continue to grow littl peanut, so we can meet you in November. 

Dreams

So, I've been having some CRAZY, early pregnancy dreams here lately. I remember dreaming when I was pregnant with Connor, but not like this. They have absolutely nothing to do with reality. NOTHING.

So, the first one I had I was a mom. A single mom. My boyfriend (yes, not husband) was a meth-head. Seriously. And so was I. We were all strung out and trying to care for a baby. It was a nightmare. Oh, and the BF? Looked nothing like James or any other boyfriend I've ever had. It was so bizarre...I must have been watching Intervention or something before I went to bed that night.

The second one was a little different and a little fuzzy. Basically, I was asked to choose between my high school bf and James..and...I woke up. We didn't live in our house, or any other house I had ever seen....and James was never in the dream. It was like he didn't really exist and I was back in high school all over again. I think we were talking about breaking up with "loves" the other night and he came up. That must have been why I was dreaming about that.

Okay, I know this sounds crazy, but with James being an AF pilot, it scares me. Really. His job is dangerous and I have no clue why I am dreaming about being alone. Two friends have been killed in flying accidents in the past two years and that is a scary statistic to me. I think that's what scares me the most. Maybe it's because he's about to leave for 2.5 weeks? Who knows....all I know is that I better not dream anything crazy tonight because I need some solid sleep. And he better never leave me. Ever.

Recent Videos-I finally figured it out!