Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Destiny
"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14b
So, if you're a regular follower, you noticed my blog title changed...and it is based off of this verse. I recently finished a study on Esther and only now am putting together what I think could be my destiny.
t too long ago, I mentioned to my mom that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life (meaning my reserve status, future, etc). You know what she said? "Courtney, I think you're already doing it and that your future is pretty set." Simple, yet so profound!
Growing up, I imagined that I would do something big or extraordinary and now I am realizing that destiny sometimes can be completely ordinary. As ordinary as the daily grind of changing dirty diaper after dirty diaper. Who knew that I would be in this place, at this time, and with this purpose? Only HE did.
I have finally come to realize that my role as a wife and mom is to do those mundane, ordinary tasks that seem thankless in the big world. My husband hates mess. Clutter and mess really stresses him out. So do dirty toddler fingers. As dumb as this seems, I feel my destiny at this moment is to help keep James as destressed as possible. Even if that just means cleaning up before he comes home and washing Connor's hands every now and again. Because he is the one with the big or extraordinary destiny-the task of protecting our freedom.
The point is that destiny changes. It ebbs and flows. But I truly believe I was destined to be a mom. Destined to be James' wife to serve him here in this place. I am 100% okay with ordinary and refuse to miss out on life waiting for something BIG to happen when it's already here.
So, if you're a regular follower, you noticed my blog title changed...and it is based off of this verse. I recently finished a study on Esther and only now am putting together what I think could be my destiny.
t too long ago, I mentioned to my mom that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life (meaning my reserve status, future, etc). You know what she said? "Courtney, I think you're already doing it and that your future is pretty set." Simple, yet so profound!
Growing up, I imagined that I would do something big or extraordinary and now I am realizing that destiny sometimes can be completely ordinary. As ordinary as the daily grind of changing dirty diaper after dirty diaper. Who knew that I would be in this place, at this time, and with this purpose? Only HE did.
I have finally come to realize that my role as a wife and mom is to do those mundane, ordinary tasks that seem thankless in the big world. My husband hates mess. Clutter and mess really stresses him out. So do dirty toddler fingers. As dumb as this seems, I feel my destiny at this moment is to help keep James as destressed as possible. Even if that just means cleaning up before he comes home and washing Connor's hands every now and again. Because he is the one with the big or extraordinary destiny-the task of protecting our freedom.
The point is that destiny changes. It ebbs and flows. But I truly believe I was destined to be a mom. Destined to be James' wife to serve him here in this place. I am 100% okay with ordinary and refuse to miss out on life waiting for something BIG to happen when it's already here.
The three reasons why I exist.
To Diet or Not to Diet
I stood on the scale this morning. And to be honest, I'm depressed. 165...last week it was 157. How did this happen? I ate well all week and only splurged in one chocolate chip cookie yesterday. My theory was that I could just exercise, eat well (lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean meats) and not count calories. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because the last thing I want to do is to restrict calories too much and mess with my milk supply.
I'm extremely frustrated because I worked my tail off during the pregnancy to only gain 33 lbs. When I went to the hospital I was 178 (my starting weight was 145), so I expected that I would at least be down to 150 by now. I wish I could be one of those women that lose it all at once, but nothing in my life has ever been that easy.
I remember my weight loss journey in college, then after Connor's birth and I HATE having to diet. In college it was easy. I didn't have another life to worry about (while nursing you should try to not lose more than 1 lb a week b/c of the toxins it can release into your bloodstream). It's a delicate balance now when I just want to go full force and get it over with. It's also different because losing weight in college was a process of learning myself and working through insecurities. Now, it's just me trying to get back to that place, which of course is also a journey, but different. I'm not insecure at all and want my outside to match my inside. And basically, I don't want to spend money on more clothes when I have awesome clothes that I just want to fit back into. I'm cheap :)
My goal weight is 135 and I know that I just have to be patient, but I am so ready to be back to normal. So, I know that I have to do something, I'm just not sure what. 10 months on, 10 months off right?
I'm extremely frustrated because I worked my tail off during the pregnancy to only gain 33 lbs. When I went to the hospital I was 178 (my starting weight was 145), so I expected that I would at least be down to 150 by now. I wish I could be one of those women that lose it all at once, but nothing in my life has ever been that easy.
I remember my weight loss journey in college, then after Connor's birth and I HATE having to diet. In college it was easy. I didn't have another life to worry about (while nursing you should try to not lose more than 1 lb a week b/c of the toxins it can release into your bloodstream). It's a delicate balance now when I just want to go full force and get it over with. It's also different because losing weight in college was a process of learning myself and working through insecurities. Now, it's just me trying to get back to that place, which of course is also a journey, but different. I'm not insecure at all and want my outside to match my inside. And basically, I don't want to spend money on more clothes when I have awesome clothes that I just want to fit back into. I'm cheap :)
My goal weight is 135 and I know that I just have to be patient, but I am so ready to be back to normal. So, I know that I have to do something, I'm just not sure what. 10 months on, 10 months off right?
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