You can't always get what you want...

But you will find in time-you get what you need.  So, assignments came down and while I still wake up in the middle of the night with dreams that they have changed, they haven't.  Here's the skinny.  James wanted this:

The F-15 E.  But instead, he got this:

The B-52

Were we disappointed? Sure. James was needless to say devastated. How is it that you go from the #1 CGO in your squadron the year prior to the bottom guy? I also happened to peek at his ranking from pilot training while I worked in the Wing and know for a fact he would have gotten his number one choice of fighters had he not put instructor down first.  Can we talk about guilt that I wanted him to stay with me instead of going off, pursuing his dreams? 

I guess for all you non-military folks-most pilots do not want to fly a bomber (especially fighter guys). It is for the "sissies." So, in order for James to get his last choice, we have to assume he was ranked pretty low amongst his peers, which I still don't understand, but isn't that the point?

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Our main prayer over the last three years looking to the assignment drop was just that His will was done.  We never prayed specifics (sometimes I did, but not regularly).  It was if in a way, we knew all along He had something greater in store for us as a family.  Through the course of this mourning/healing process we have come to agree on a few things.  One, we know this life is not our own and that sometimes, Faith isn't understanding why you are following in that exact moment.  Sometimes Faith is following without knowing where you are going.  Blind Faith.  Interesting concept, right?  Second, when have we as humans ever known what we really want or really need?  God is the big planner, not us, so why on earth would we know what was best? 

After going through the list of positives versus negatives, there are way more positives to this air frame than the others.  One, it is way more family friendly.  James wants to be home more as it is, so this will be the perfect fit in that aspect.  Second, James' personality will match a lot better in a bomber community.  We all know James is a quiet dude (he is type A under the surface) but in a fighter community, it would have been more of a struggle for him to exert himself.  Third, there are a ton of great people in these communities. We have friends from Baylor and Sheppard that are all there, so we are excited about that.  Fourth, being a bomber pilot as a former FAIP is actually a good deal.  He can go straight to being the aircraft commander vs having to do years worth of upgrades that he would have done as a fighter guy.  And finally, he still gets to drop bombs.  TONS of them! 

I have already started planning our life in Shreveport and am ready for this new adventure.  I am trusting right now that God has a plan and I will follow it.  Sometimes you don't understand why things happen, but in the long run, you can always look back and see the purpose in anything.