Where's the baby?

Connor seems to think he can find it hidden under my shirt.  I am now 21 weeks along (these pictures are from two weeks ago, so I've grown a bit) and am really starting to feel pregnant. The sleepless nights have started, unimaginable back pain, swelling feet, and hunger. All normal and beautiful once you look back on it all, but rather annoying in the midst of it.

I started feeling kicking a few weeks ago.  It's funny, becuase with Connor I had that "ahah" moment where I wrote down his first kick that I felt.  I haven't had that this time around-maybe I'm busier and running around and just haven't noticed, but the kicks are definately stronger now than they were four weeks ago. 

I have been steadily keeping up with my exercise routine when my back permits and have enjoyed a slow weight gain so far.  Let's hope and pray I can keep it up and keep the weight gain reasonable.  I know that I will not fully make the 20 lb mark, but 25-30 this time is doable.  With Connor, I had far passed the 25 lb mark at 20 weeks.  Oops :) 

James and I have also decided to not find out what this baby is.  I'm not sure I can handle the suspense, but it definately will make it more fun when she arrives.  It also keeps a handle on my spending pre-baby!  We hired Martha Tesermann (http://www.joyinbirth.com/) to be my doula to aid my natural childbirth desires.  James and I are pretty excited about labor this time around, since we definately know what to expect.  Can't wait to meet this new one, but I'm not sure what we're going to do with TWO!!  It is sure going to be a wild ride.

I am so thankful for Pastor Brett because....

he is one of the strong, courageous pastors who I know will never back down when times get tough. The Bible teaches us that there will always be opposition when you choose Christianity as your path. It saddens me that in order for us to separate church and state, people want to completely remove Christianity all together. It also saddens me that there are pastors who are not willing to stand up and speak the Truth every Sunday. Please visit this web-site to see how you can take part of this movement-to keep the government out of our churches and out of Biblical teaching.

Church Project Video from Alliance Defense Fund on Vimeo.

Summer Days!

Connor and I have been having an awesome summer.  We got season passes to the local water park Castaway Cove and love getting to float around in the lazy river.  So far, he has gotten over his timidness in the water and this week we started learning to float, blow bubbles and even got to some kicking!  I think he will be a little swimmer by next summer.  These pictures are from our trip to the Iowa Park Splash and Spray Park with Jude, Jenn, and Brooke. 

Our trip to Florida!

We had such a great time in Florida.  It was awesome having Megan in the same house!  I think what I discovered is that I need more girl time :)  Here are just a few pictures from the trip.  There were a number of new firsts this trip as well (last trip was the first airplane ride and wagon ride down the isle).  He played putt-putt, picked shells on the beach, and even ran into a few waves! 

A group shot before we started playing. 

He kept stealingn our putters.  We tried to give him a baby one, but he knew it was different and wanted ours.  He might just be a golfer one day :)

Me and Megan-what a different trip to the beach then we used to take.  Our old trips would have included pitchers of margaritas, loud music and craziness.  This trip was a little more relaxing-just reading magazines, listening to ipods and chasing Connor around the sand.  Oh, and watching our husbands try to surf.  That was fun!

James and Connor building a sand castle-well sand airplane.  James was definately more into it than Connor was, but it was still fun.  In the end, the tide washed it all away, but it was still fun to build.

I feel like this picture just sums Connor up.  This would be his "I'm cute, funny and even though I'm driving you crazy by not sitting still and screaming my head off on the plane, I can still make you smile, right mom?" face.  Man, he is cute though isn't he?

Graduation

I thought I would be stoked.  Excited.  Overjoyed.  And I was....well...feeling whatever about the whole thing.  It is interesting how my personal success has no bearing on my life anymore.  Somehow, in transition to becoming a mother, my husband and son's successes have become more amazing to me.  Like when Connor learned to say "car" or "doggie" those moments made me tear up in pride.  Or when James won CGO of the Year from his squadron this past year-I was so proud of him it hurt.  It's amazing how life changes you and how learning to live like Jesus has changed me.  It has moved me away from myself and more focused on others.  Here is a picture from that day with me and my family-Gammy, Big Guy, and my mom.  Three people who have always pushed me to do better, be better and strive for more.  Thanks for all of your love and support!

My "green" thumb :)

Here is a sampling of things I'm growing around the house. I never in my life thought I would be spending my extra time outside gardening, but, hey-it's fun!

Here is a big head of lettuce from the garden that's below.

In the garden, I've planted lettuce, squash (yellow & zucchini), potatoes, onions, bell peppers and tomatoes.  There is also a blueberry "stick" and strawberry plants which aren't doing that great.

Here is the front flower bed.  The front is creeping phlox and mums.  I'm not sure the name of the pink and white flowers in the back.  I am still waiting for my hibiscus to grow back (I think the snow might have gotten it.)

This is the newest creation.  In the fall, I tilled up the corner of our backyard and made this flowerbed.  It looks sad in this picture, but rest assured, it has been watered and is brought back to life!

Self-Realization

Brooke recently blogged about the stumbling stone in Romans 9:30-33.  I am stealing this excerpt from her blog and it's The Message's translation of those verses, which really makes the Bible's verses make sense:

All those people who didn't seem interested in what God was doing actually embraced what God was doing as he straightened our their lives. And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their "God projects" that they didn't notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling. Isaiah (again!) gives us the metaphor for pulling this together: Careful! I've put a huge stone on the road to Mount Zion, a stone you can't get around. But the stone is me! If you're looking for me, you'll find me on the way, not in the way.

I asked James last night what he thought my "stumbling stone" was.  He answered exactly the way I expected and kind of hoped he would.  His response?  My dad.  For almost my entire adult life, I have been trying to find an explanation of why things happened the way they did and almost have tried to force him to make up for what "he did to me."  I sat down this morning to write out why I haven't been responding to his phone calls and this is one of those times that words really just started flowing.  What I realized is that God has been here this entire time, waiting patiently for me to say "Jesus-you ARE enough."  I can see clearly now what it means to try to take matters into your own hands.  Every time I have done that, it has blown up in my face.  God always just wanted me to choose HIM first and realize that while earthly fathers may disappoint (heck, people in general disappoint) HE WILL NOT.  There is nothing I have done or will do to earn His love for me and that is so amazing.  He has loved me from day zero.  

I feel guilty for making my dad feel guilty for so long and for taking out all of my anger and frustration on him.  It just so happens that this was my stumbling stone that I have been trying to make sense of for so long and I finally get it.  Though not some earth shattering, ground breaking discovery, God just wants us to depend on Him, and Him alone.  His grace and mercy are sufficient. What is your stumbling stone?  Are you ready to climb on Jesus' back and make that hurdle over it?