Through Connor's Eyes

Every day this week, Connor has jumped out of bed shouting "Mommy, Mommy, it's Easter time!"  He says it like he's saying it's Spring, Summer, Fall and sometimes does lump it all in there.

I've caught myself correcting him a few times, because I didn't want him to get confused on real seasons, like Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter or for fear that he might find out I am totally unprepared to dye Easter eggs, hide said Easter eggs, decorate or fill an Easter basket or trudge through lines to visit the Easter bunny.

I've thought a lot and prayed over how to handle holidays.  By choice, I don't talk about the Easter bunny because well, there is nothing (at least that I know of ) about the Easter bunny that points to Jesus.  At least for Christmas, St Nicholas was an actual Christian who delivered gifts to needy children.  That I can swallow.  But there is something about the Easter bunny that I can't.

Then it hit me.  Easter IS a season. I mean duh, it starts with Lent!  And for Connor, there is so much JOY in celebrating the life of our Savior. 

Every day this week, I've had a clear moment to share the story of Jesus' journey to the cross.  My feet were really, really dirty one night and I got to tell Connor the story of how Jesus washed the disciples feet.  While he was in the bath tub, I stuck my feet in, and proceeded to wash all of our feet as the story unfolded.

Today as I caught myself telling Connor "It is NOT EASTER YET!"  I was able to tell him the story of Good Friday and about how Jesus died on the cross. While we played in the garage, we brought out the scrap wood and built the cross.  We talked about how much it hurt, where the nailes were placed and why He had to do it.

As we were dying eggs, I had to remind myself that the eggs we were dying didn't have to be perfect.  They could be cracked, broken, or discolored.  In Connor's eyes, they were his masterpiece and they are beautiful. We too are broken and scarred, but we are God's masterpiece and in Him we are made perfect. 

Tomorrow, I am sure I will have a moment to reflect on the sadness his disciples and Mary felt as Jesus was buried in the tomb.  And on Sunday, we will get to SHOUT FOR JOY as we celebrate Jesus who rose from the dead! 

In Connor's eyes, it is simple.  There is no need for fluff.  There is no need for extras.  There is a need to wake up every morning shouting "It's Easter Time, It's Easter Time!"

Blessings

Somehow, somewhere, God found me fit to have some pretty amazing friends.  I mean seriously, I do.  The world's best! 

After I took James to the squadron this morning, I fell back asleep, to be awakened by the the following text message AND jet engines.  I grabbed both boys out of their beds and ran as fast as I could to the driveway only to catch a small glimpse of the two jets as they were leaving.  As we waved goodbye to our warrior from our driveway in our pajamas (yeah, not the farewell you would imagine, right?), I was reading this amazing message:

"Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have is not permanent" Jean Kerr (writing of deployment)

We are blessed to live the life we lead, we are strong, faithful and courageous.  We are some of the few proud women who get to stand beside a man who fights to keep us free.  Know that you are loved more than you can imagine and that you have support in any moment of need.  Stand strong as you hear the jet take off, and know that because of you, he gets to do what he loves, he will be strong and faithful and he will protect us all.  Jennifer Jens :)

Thank you Jesus, for saving me, leading my life, and allowing me to be loved by amazing people.  To YOU be ALL the glory!

It's the little things

Like the annoying pair of boots by the door (I mean really, how hard is it to line them up?) 

Or flight bag hanging on my pantry door

Or gawdy A bag ready to go in the garage

That typically drive me C-A-RAZY!  But today, I am so thankful that they are here.  Because that means he is home. 

In a few days, those bags will be gone.  Those boots will be missing.  My laundry pile will be smaller, grocery list smaller, to-do-list shorter.  But, I will wish I could just see those darn boots thrown by the back door, with no regard to my obvious organization...

Because he will be here, doing what he loves, and protecting our freedom.

Connor is THREE

We had Connor's birthday party last weekend with friends, so this weekend was pretty quiet.  We did however, do a few things to celebrate :)  Connor helped me make his cake.  I attempted Laurel's amazing chocolate cake.  It was ok, not as awesome as hers, but hopefully we'll get the hang of it.

Of course you have to lick the spoon!

 The aftermath...chocolate face!

We went to church today and Connor finally got to go to Sunday School.  Three is a magical age where you can start doing "kid" stuff.

 Not perfect writing, but remember, I had a three year old's help. 

I found this idea from a blog on Pintrest.  Write down a few favorites and compare each year.  My favorite from the list is his favorite food:  marshmallow.  HILARIOUS!

 Blowing out his three candles! 

It's hard to believe he's getting so big.  He started standing, yes standing, to pee because when you turn three, you are magically a BIG BOY.  Or so he tells me.  He also has started praying at meals (which has been a big fight).  The kid is smart.  Seriously.  It's shocking how smart he is.  He's still pretty bossy, but I can only pray he can tame that down.  I know he gets that from me. 

I plan to get  him enrolled in a pre-school program hopefully soon.  For sure in the fall.  Fun things ahead with this beautiful little boy!



Following My Leader

Recently, I had a casual conversation with an instructor friend about marriage and it got into the topic of submission.  I proudly announced that I whole heatedly follow my husband.  She looked at me like I was crazy.  I didn't expand there because the conversation quickly changed to something else, but I've been thinking on it since.  I'd like to explain.

In Ephesians, it says ^"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (Eph 22-24).

Ah!  Let's freak out a minute!  Does this mean I am supposed to be chained to my stove attending his every need?  Does this mean I am not independent and can make my own decisions?  Does this mean he rules me?  Does this say I don't have a say in decisions? 

No.  Because the Bible goes further.  And check out what He calls husbands to do for us:  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." "Eph 25-27

He calls husbands to sacrifice themselves as Christ did for the church.  Does that mean die for us?  Possibly.  That means he puts US first before ANYTHING else.  And all we have to do is submit?  I'll take that option versus death in a heartbeat. 

And that is why I am fully OK with submitting myself to my husband. 

I am not ashamed to say he is my leader because James is living his life the way Christ tells him to.  He leads our family not out of fear, but out of compassion.  Our marriage is a two way street.  Yes, at the end of the day, he makes the final decision on anything.  But it is never without my input.  I trust his decisions because they are based in Biblical truth and prayer.  I know he always has our best interests in mind, even if it means I don't get what I want in the mean time (and I also know he hates telling me no, but sometimes, he has to). 

Three years ago, I was as independent and stubborn as most modern women are.  I had a career, my own money and complete control over my husband.  I paid all of our bills, planned our trips, was in control over our bank accounts, and rarely asked James his opinion for anything.  It was all about me. His call sign was "STORM" which means "She Totally Outranks Me."  How embarrassing.  It was that bad. 

Then, in comes this precious child Connor, who completely changed my life forever.  I'm not sure what it was about becoming a mom, but God used that as an opportunity to transform my life.  Slowly, over the last three years, I have come to a full realization of what "being a woman" is.  It has nothing to do with taking over men or taking their place.  It has to do with owning our God given gifts.  It is being okay in your God given role as a nurturer (for me, being a wife & mom).  Being a woman is POWER, but with a soft hand.  It is letting men lead us and fully trusting to follow.  

Our world today is so focused on women being equal to men, but we are not the same.  Men have to be willing to die, sacrifice, and serve and women have to submit to the man who is willing to die for her.  That is how we achieve this great relationship with Christ.  When we learn to submit to His will for our lives.  And there is nothing more beautiful than a woman completely, and totally in love with her God.

The Easy Way Out

I remember the first time I got caught cheating on homework.  I was in the 5th grade, in homeroom in Mrs. Appling's class.  I didn't finish my math homework for Mrs. Larkins class the night before because it was fractions and I was totally confused, so, I copied a friend's homework so that I would still be able to turn it in. And I got busted.  BIG time. 

It was the very first time I was ever sent to the principle's office.  My mom was called to the school and I was faced to either lie or tell the truth, which to this day, I'm not sure what I did. All I remember is that I was mortified and scared.  I wasn't scared just because I was caught, but I was scared because I would have to tell my little secret.  That I had absolutely no clue how to do a fraction.  And then I would have to do something else even more mortifying.  I would have to ask for help!

Cheating was the easy way out.  It was my way of not asking for help, tackling my fears, and pushing forward without fixing what needed to be fixed.  We all do that in our lives, somehow or another. 

Something very fresh on mind (and more the point of the blog post) is cheating in marriage. Whether it be watching pornography, going to a strip club, being best friends with someone of the opposite sex that isn't your spouse, masturbation, or having a physical relationship with someone else, it's all cheating.  Heck, you could even include binge drinking, drugs, video games, or time spent on Internet. 

I've heard all too often "these things are normal." No, they aren't. If they are, they shouldn't be.  I am obviously coming from a female perspective here, so, let me just say that NO WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND IS OK WITH YOU LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMAN NAKED.  PERIOD!!!  (and if she says she is, she's just trying to please you.)  It's against the grain.  Your woman wants to be your one and only.  She wants to be the one to fill you up with what you need.  If you are having to get it from somewhere, it tells her subconscious that she is not good enough.  Because, isn't that what you're telling your spouse when you look elsewhere?  That they aren't enough? 

When you cheat, you aren't just cheating yourself.  You are cheating everyone around you.  You are cheating your spouse, your family, you are even cheating the person you are cheating with.  Because let's face it, there is something wrong with you spiritually or else you wouldn't be cheating.  If you can't face the tough,  ugly truth with your spouse, how the heck are you going to face it with the one you are cheating with?  It will just continue to haunt you until you face it, head on. 

I guess this has turned into more of a rant than an inspiring blog post. I am tired of watching people take the easy way out.  I will never forget Brooke saying "if Matt ever cheated on me, I'd make him stay and face me."  Right on.  Because you see, that's the point.  Cheating is not admitting that you can't do a simple fraction.  It's hiding the fact that you're scared to ask for help.  It's taking matters into your own hands and, most of the time, you will be caught red-handed.  And the consequences in life are far worse than being sent to the principles office and having a parent teacher conference. 

Here is what the Bible says: 
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the world and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies."  Ephesians 5:22-28 

*FYI: I am NOT talking about my husband.  James is almost too perfect and because of him, I have high ideals for all men and all marriages.  He has shown me what a good, Christian man can be like.  He has made me his number one and chooses to refrain from the list of things I have listed above.  It's because of him, I have such high hopes for all of my friends and my family.

Living a Life of Passion

Why hello blog!  And hello 2012!  Nice to see you...it's been a while.  I did a post of New Year's Resolutions last year & really I have none.  I do however, have a new conviction.  Living a life of passion. 

Let me explain why this is so profound to me even though it seems so simple.  The past few months, I've been praying for God to make himself clear on where He wants me to go in life.  With the boys, Zumba, Childbirth Education, with friends.  And here is the answer...if it moves me to tears, I'm supposed to do it.  Yeah, silly way to decide what to do with myself, but all of the above drive me forward.  They get me out of bed in the morning. 

First and foremost, my goal this year is to form friendships based in Truth.  I avoided every Bible study I was invited to last year for fear of replacing my amazing group of girls in Wichita Falls.  I HAVE to get over that fear and open myself up to developing deep friendships with people that are present in my life right now. 

Second, continue to do the things that move me.  With Zumba, I will be bold in my faith.  I will not be afraid to bring Christ to the aerobics room.  This is my stage & I will use it....wherever that leads, I will follow.  Body transformation is from the inside out...not the other way around.  If you work on people's hearts, their bodies will quickly follow suit.  I am praying now to have an opportunity to do a church based class where we can do a 5-10 minute devotional at the end of class, with clean music, women only, and even Christian music.  That will take time I know, because we have to find a church home first, but it's out there waiting for me here...I can feel it.  

Third, I want to show women how AWESOME their bodies are.  I want EVERYONE to walk away from their birth proud of their abilities and full of joy.  That is going to require some resolve in me because I need to get over my "I hate doctors" mentality.  Doctors aren't bad, they are needed, and it's more important that moms education themselves on their choices and base their choices on information...not just what someone else tells them to do.

And last, but certainty not least, I want to ENJOY my boys.  It's time to sit back and play.  I tell you what, almost every night before bed, I well up with tears because they are growing so fast.  They are both so amazing &; I still have no idea how I got so lucky to be their mom. The other night, instead of forcing Connor in bed at his usual 8 pm bedtime, we magically transformed the living room into a swimming pool, where the rug was the pool & the couches were slides.  It was magical & fun & ridiculous to the outsider, but I absolutely love his imagination.  I want to be able to imagine like a kid again and love life the way they do...where everyday is a new adventure.

In total, the goal of this year (and in every year) will be to NEED God, FOLLOW God, and DELIGHT in God.  The Bible says:  "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:17.   And that my friends is where passion comes from. I want to live life for Christ, give life to the passions he has instilled in me, and go forth with an attitude of thanksgiving.