A Mother's Sacrifice

Matthew 16.24-25

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God,

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice,

holy and acceptable to God,

which is your spiritual worship.

Last week, I was at my wits end.  I couldn't handle Jacob any longer when it came to sleep time.  I found myself getting anxious, wondering whether or or not he would fall asleep and how long it would take. I feared 8 o'clock.  But, through a series of pleas to friends, books and a whole lot of prayer, I have discovered something. 

A mother must sacrifice for the well-being of her child.  My mom scratched my back (and Ashley's) EVERY night before bed.  She was a single mom, who had absolutely no time to herself, but yet she took this time every night to bond, help us to sleep and make us feel safe.  I love her for that.  She sacrificed everything-her life, her time, and her energy. 

A few of the books on how to get your kids to sleep, miss one very key element:  a child's feeling of security.  They tell you to let them cry it out.  They also tell you to wait 10-15 minutes before tending to your crying baby just to see if they can put themselves back to sleep.  There seems to be something wrong with this.  Who is some random Dr to tell my NOT to rock and cuddle with my baby?  It honestly makes me furious.  We did this theory with Connor (to some degree).  To this day, he still cries EVERY SINGLE TIME WE LEAVE THE ROOM.  He's scared.  I regret that decision every night when I leave him.  He's unsecure in his sleep.  Scared of the boogeyman or just in fear that we will leave him alone if he needs us.  So, we've been trying to back-track with him by laying with him until he falls asleep.  

So, obviously, we tried this theory with Jacob.  He sure taught me a lesson.  He wants to be held and it only takes 10 minutes usually to get him to fall asleep now.  We have to sway back and forth, but he loves it.  It's the best feeling when his head falls on my shoulder as if to say "Thanks Mom for loving me."  It's such a special moment.  And while he may not be sleeping through the night, he sleeps well when he is asleep and feels safe and secure.  He's peaceful, which is exactly what I want.  Ditching my plan has also allowed me to step back and take a big picture look at Jacob as a person. He likes to fall asleep later, nap more during the day, have his room pitch black dark, have white noise, and snuggle before bed. Pretty much everything books I've read said not to do. 

*I am not in any way judging anyone who uses these methods in getting their kids to sleep. If it works for you -awesome! I have had to just figure out what works best for our family....all kids are different as Jacob has recently taught me.

My friend Jenn offered up this great piece of advice:  use the time at night for my own prayer time; pray for our family, friends, or just spend time alone with God, thanking him for such a beautiful gift. 

Thank you Jesus for this precious gift.  Thank you for opening my eyes to being the mom you want me to be.  Please continue to help James and I learn Jacob and him learn us.  Please help us to learn to sacrifice for our children the way you sacrificed for us.  Amen.