Thankful

Without a doubt, James is my greatest accomplishment EVER.  I can not even describe how thankful I am for him, the parents who raised him, and for a God who chose me fit to be his wife.

When I was a little girl, I would pray every day that my Dad would come back.  It was odd, because my parents were divorced by the time I was 18 months, so I knew in my heart that would never happen.  Regardless, it was my solid prayer.  There were times I questioned God's sovereignty because of my relationship with my Dad.  There was a reason, while I couldn't see it then, and I grew up to learn that while earthly fathers may fail, our Heavenly Father WILL NOT.

October 11, 2012 was the day that all came full-circle.  Throughout the deployment, I reminded our boys that they had an amazing Daddy:  one who would never choose to leave them, but had to protect our country from the "bad guys" (as Connor calls them).  God has proven Himself faithful yet again.  My boys got the most beautiful homecoming and God gave me a gift of peace. He is home. 

This year, too many friends have suffered the loss of a husband, marriage, or father of their children.  Friends who were killed in action, friends who chose to leave their families, friends who took the easy way out.   I will not take this opportunity for granted. 

God, thank you for blessing me with a beautiful husband.  One who puts his life on the line for not just me, but for millions of people who will never know he exists.  Thank you for bringing him home to us.  Thank you for the amazing example he is to our brave boys.  You ARE GOOD!

Jacob Brian

Jacob is my lover.  He will always come up to me hug me and say "I-o-u" which is his way of saying "I love you." You can count on him to hug you when you need it.  He looks up to Connor so much.  He is a huge copy cat and will do whatever Connor is doing-no matter if it means danger.  I often find Jacob hiding in some ridiculous places.  The other day, i was searching for him, and what do you know?  He was sitting in our entry closet, waiting for me to open the door.  As soon as I did he said "boo!" He thought that was pretty hilarious. 

He loves sticks, bugs, and rocks.  He lovingly calls all bugs "buggies." My favorite bug story from this summer is when he tried to pick up a Texas Red Headed Centipede (which is venomous).  He was so sad!  He looked and pointed at the thing like "why buggy why I love you!"

You can always find him rolling, jumping, or whatever in the grass.  He's an outdoors boy!

Gosh he loves his big brother.

He also loves sweets.  "Mallows" are his favorite :)

BUSTED!  This is one of his favorite climbing spots.  He'll go from the toilet, to the trash can, to the sink. 

Connor James

 I haven't done one of these in a LONG time, so I better get on this while my house is quiet.  Connor is a BOY.  Like really.  No diapers, no crib, no anything babyish anymore.  We're even out of toddler sizes.  Just a boy. 

He started a five day pre-school at the beginning of September and he is thriving.  It is a play based program (no desks!) and he just loves learning and people.  He's an overthinker, and like me, talks while he's thinking.  He's "bossy" like me too, but I'm trying my best to channel it into leadership.  I don't want him to ever question the personality that God has given him!  He's a great big brother, and loves helping Jacob whenever he can. Here are a few pictures: 

First day of pre-school

First ever big boy bike! He's so stinking proud of this thing.  I often catch him cleaning it, fixing tires, and just general upkeep. 

He's still funny.  His faces are the best!

No more booster seat.  Just sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal (that he poured himself) and telling me about life.  He can also now pour his own cups of milk, clip his own fingernails, put on his own shoes (velcro only), and can buckle himself into his carseat.

I just love this picture of him.  He's so stinking handsome!

Where is Jacob

These days, I seem to play a big game of "Where is Waldo" with Jacob.  It's incredible to me that this little boy has the mastermind to do some of the things he does.  He's a quiet sneak!  Here are a few of his favorite climbing spots:

Bless the Lord

So, if you know me, you know there is always a soundtrack to my life.  Seriously, I have a song for everything.  On Sunday, we sang this song in church.  I literally sat and sobbed (alone might I add) in my pew.  It made me think about Gammy.  A lot. 

"And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore"


On Gammy's final days, she was unable to communitate except through grunts, some hand gestures, or her eyes.  What sticks out to me the most were here eyes.  You could still feel her presence.  You could feel her love.  You could sense her passion for life and her family.  Her eyes could almost burn into your soul. 

On my dying days, I hope I too am surrounded by my family, looking at me lovingly, and look at them with such JOY in the midst of staring death in the face. 

This has been the hardest summer of my life. At moments, I've felt empty, sad, mad, and incredibly angry at God.  I hate that she suffered.  I hate that she had to go so soon.  I hate that I had to deal with it all alone, with a husband who is thousands of miles away.  I hate watching my Big Guy so incredibly sad. 

But, even in the midst of my sorrow, I've seen so much good coming our way. I've reminded myself that: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I have come a long way in three months, but I feel like I can finally pick up my Bible again and say these words:

"You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name"

So ready...

For this man to be coming back the other direction.  So, so ready. 

And that is all I have to say about that. 

Lessons in Deployment

Here we are.  Half-way through our first deployment.  And life is...getting easier?  I hate saying that, but we are finally getting into the swing of things.  The picture below is a typical day.  Both kids always seem to cry at the same time and need attention from mom.  It's my job to give it, but whoa mama!  Below are just a few random thoughts from these past three months!

1. Anything bad that's going to happen WILL happen.  And probably all at once. 

2.  Sometimes you have to sacrifice things you would normally not do (like feed your kids macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets for every meal, not bathing them every night, or brush their teeth). 

3.  Asking for help is hard, but OH SO NECESSARY.

4.  Taking time out for me is very important. 

5.  Living with family is amazing.  I honestly never want to leave.

6.  Reading romance novels (ahem...50 Shades) while your husband is away is also another very bad idea. 

7.  There really is nothing better than receiving a love letter from your husband. 

8.  Little boys have a death wish.  They like to push their limits and they may not survive until October.  Seriously.

9.  I am a terrible disciplinarian.  James will have a whole lot of undoing to do when he gets home. 

10.  Sometimes, there is no other option than to sit on the floor with both of your crying kids, hug them tight, and cry right along with them.